A Life in the Balance
by heymamawolf
Summary: Alias\Scrubs Crossover. SV. What if Vaughn was sent to the Scrubs hospital when he fell deathly ill in Counteragent?
1. 1

**Title:** A Life in the Balance  
**Author:** littlepinkstar  
**Rating:** PG13  
**POV:** JDs  
**Summary:** What if Vaughn was sent to the "Scrubs" hospital when he fell deathly ill in "Counteragent"? Hilarity would ensue, that's for damn sure.   
**Disclaimer:** The "Alias" crew belongs to JJ Abrams and the "Scrubs" crew belongs to Bill Lawrence.  
  
**Chapter One**   
  
Do you ever have one of those days when you just think nothing else could possibly get any worse?  
  
See, normally this would be the time when I'd get all flashback-y and recall all those humiliating and morally painful things that have happened to me in the past twenty four hours as I stare off into space, but no, I've been summoned by Dr. I'm-so-cynical-and-sarcastic-you-should-just-call-me-Dr. Cyncastic.  
  
Ha, Cyncastic! Some people never lose their charm and wit and I thank God I've been blessed with the mad skillz.   
  
The sound of Cox's angry whistle shakes me from my thoughts and forces me to look directly into the sun. Oh God, I can't see anything. I think I'm blinded. Damn you, Cox, DAMN YOU!  
  
"Bambi, your eyes are here," He points to me with his first two fingers then to his eyes, "not here. And we don't have time for my ingenius quips about your flagrant homosexual tendencies, ie: staring at my crotch, because we've got some serious sh-t going down as we speak."   
  
What is _this_?! Cox simply stating that he thinks I'm a flagrant homosexual rather than making fairly obscene gestures and remarks and showing off his mastery of the allusion. This _must_ be serious.  
  
"What's going on?" I ask, picking up the pace so that I'm walking in stride with him.   
  
"Do you not listen to anything I say, newbie?" Ow, I highly doubt my question warranted a slap upside the head.   
  
"Ow."   
  
"Aw, is little newbie hurt? Well too bad. Suck it up and be a man for once. You still have a week until the sex change--"  
  
Enough is enough. I stop and stop in Cox's path to force him to stop, too.   
  
"Okay, I get it. Ha ha, I'm a woman. Ha ha, I'm a homosexual. Ha ha I'm a soon to be transvestite. Now that we've established this, can we please move on and you tell me what the Hell everyone's in such a fuss about."   
  
"Oh God, if there was ever a time when I wished to have a recorder more than anything, now would be the time."   
  
I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair with an exasperated sigh. Dr. Cox laughs and mutters something under his breath as he bypasses me and continues down the hall.   
  
"You snooze, you lose, newbie."   
  
"You snooze, you lose, newbie," I imitate in a low bitchy!JD voice as I shake my head towards Dr. Cox's direction. I really pity the child who has to endure the psychological damage that man will inflict upon them.   
  
"Cursing out Dr. Cox in your head, huh?" I hear Elliot say as she walks up beside me.   
  
"How'd you know?" I ask, turning to face her.   
  
"Well, the venomous look coupled with the bitchy!JD imitation kind of gave it away," she says as she places her charts on the counter and turns to me again.   
  
This girl knows me far too well.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Cursed be the day I become predictable.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"You're not even listening to me," Elliot exclaims angrily.  
  
"Uh, yeah I am." I reply quickly, trying desperately to shake the image of her giving Mr. Simmons a lap dance to to heal his "achin' heart."   
  
"No, you're not. You're doing that stupid little staring off into space and day dreaming about some stupid thing you always do."   
  
Sh-t.   
  
"...Am not..."  
  
**End Flashback**_  
  
"So wait. What's going on that's making everyone get so freaked out and why have we stopped admitting new patients?"   
  
"Didn't anyone tell you, JD?" Carla asks, leaning over the counter.   
  
"Tell me what, dammit?!" I exclaim frustratedly.   
  
"We're the back up CIA designated hospital." She finishes.   
  
"What? What does that mean?"  
  
"It means that the CIA came to us and basically said that, in case of an emergency and the real CIA hospital can't take anyone, we have to stop admitting patients for precautionary measures. If an agent gets injured or violently ill, we gotta take care of them." Elliot explains nonchalantly.  
  
Both Carla and I stare at Elliot in wonder.   
  
"What?" She asks, confused. I shake my head and turn back to Carla.   
  
"So what's the big deal? We'll treat him and move on."   
  
"That's the thing. We can't. This Agent Vaughn has some sort of virus or something that hasn't been identified. No one knows how to stop it or cure it or anything. Basically this guy's screwed."   
  
"What were his symptoms?" I ask, curious about this "unknown" virus.  
  
"They say the first signs are bleeding at the fingernails." Carla replies, shaking her head. "It's crazy. I've never heard of anything like it."   
  
"You know, maybe it isn't some kind of virus. Once I went to this new nail place to get a manicure and a week later my fingertips were all infected and puffed up, and there was a little bit of blood coming out of my fingernails. Never trust a "get a manicure get a pedicure free" deal. My poor feet have never been the same."   
  
How gross. It's times like these I'm glad I'm not having sex with her anymore...  
  
Yeah, the time is over. I definitely wish I could still be having sex with her...  
  
Carla's looking at Elliot like she's a complete and utter lunatic and Elliot's just humming and picking her cuticles. What a Kodak moment.   
  
"Is it contagious?" Because if it is, I'm definitely concerned about my own well being in this whole scenario. Because you know if worse came to worst, Dr. Cox would volunteer "newbie" to go in and contract a deadly virus and die a slow and painful death. Oh, that Cox.   
  
"Thankfully, no."  
  
"So when's this CIA Agent Michael Vaughn coming in?" Elliot asks giddily, "do I have the time to put on some makeup and make my hair?"   
  
Once again, me and Carla stare at Elliot in disbelief.   
  
"What?"   
  
How clueless can this girl possibly be.   
  
"Eliot, you're not gonna pick up a date, I can guarantee you that. And how do you know this guy isn't a hideous 65 year old man with warts that have hair growing out of them?" Is it really _that_ obvious I'm still not over Elliot? I tried to act nonchalant but I think it came out in a bratty 9-year-old JD voice.  
  
"I don't know...I've always imagined CIA agents as tall dark and handsome--"  
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Oh, Agent Dorian, is that your gun I feel in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"   
  
"No, that actually **is** my gun..."  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
"Elliot, I really think that picking up a date will be the last thing on this agent who has been infected with a deadly virus's mind."   
  
All of a sudden, the doors fly open and a guy around my age with tan skin and light brown hair is rolled in on a stretcher by some CIA medics. Yeah, he doesn't look like a 65 year old man with warts and hair growing out of those warts. He's still sporting his suit, damn I've never owned a suit that nice in my life, and has an oxygen mask over his face.  
  
"What did I tell ya?" Elliot whispers giddily to Carla.  
  
I could soooo take this guy in a fight. And by fight I mean chess match. And by chess, I of course mean checkers. KING ME!  
  
Who am I kidding, by checkers I mean _chinese_ checkers.  
  
"Sydney...Somebody call Sydney..." I hear him mutter faintly and his eyes grow heavy.   
  
"Sorry Elliot, sounds like this guy's taken." I say a little too happily.   
  
"Trust me, he'll forget all about this Sydney after I'm done with him. I call changing him into his gown!"   
  
"Last time I checked, this wasn't a Barbie doll collector's chat room." Is that Lucifer himself, I hear? "No. It still isn't actually. It's a hospital, and sadly to say, you two are doctors. Now we've got a very sick man on our hands..."   
  
**END CHAPTER ONE**


	2. 2

**Chapter Two**  
  
The hosptial has pratically no patients in it, yet everything seems to be in a whirlwind. Atleast on our floor. Lucky us, we get to have the CIA agent that just happens to have some unknown virus that could very well kill us all and, oh yeah, did I mention that Elliot is _still_ lusting over this man?  
  
She put on a fresh set of scrubs, applied ungodly amounts of makeup, and put her hair up in one of those plastic clippy things and now she's trying to seduce him. She's trying to seduce a man who's on the verge of death, who quite franky, isn't all that gorgeous, when she has a Greek God of a man named John Dorian standing only feet away. When will she ever learn?  
  
"Can I get you some new pillows, Mr. Vaughn?" She asks in her bubblegum sweet voice. I think I'm getting a toothache just listening to her. She might as well wear a sign that says "Hi, my name is Britney, what's yours?"   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
Elliot turns from her position by this man's side and strikes the typical Britney pose, raising her chin and letting her hand rest on her hip.   
  
"Oh baby, baby. How was I supp-osed to know..." Mr. Vaughn sits up and she pushes him back down onto the bed and comes my way. "That somethin' wasn't ri-i-i-ght. Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go-o..." Did I mention how hot she looks in the naughty school girl outfit?   
  
Naughty, Elliot, naughty!  
  
"Show me, how you want it to be, tell me baby--"   
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
"Dude, I'm not gonna lie, you're creeping me out standing here singing "Hit me Baby One More Time" and doing that wierd-ass dance you do."   
  
Oh, Turk, you know you love it.   
  
I stop quickly and pretend like nothing happened. Okay, so I totally forced that daydream just so I could imagine Elliot in that _hot_ outfit, but it was sooo worth it.   
  
"Hey, Turk, what's up _dawg_??" I stick my hand out and me and Turk do our classic secret handshake, ending of course with the slamming of our chests together as a show of our utter masculinity.   
  
"I heard about what's going on with this CIA agent. How crazy is _this_?! We've been in our residency for God knows how long at this hospital, and never once were we enlightened by the fact that it's a CIA hospital. That's damn cool. We so have to tell all our friends that we, ebony and ivory, salt and pepper, _chocolate_ and vanilla, have treated a CIA agent. Dude, my dream when I was a kid was to become a CIA agent."   
  
"Please do go blabbing your mouths off to everyone, little ones, because I'd ahab-solutely _love_ to see a hit put out on you guys so that I'd never have to see your grovelling babyface, newbie, and that _hideous_ mole on yours Captain Turk."   
  
Wow, that was harsh. I don't think Dr. Cox has ever told me he actually wanted me to disappear off the face of the Earth before. Okay, wait, he really has, but not in the getting killed sense. He always had sweet insinuations that I'd be taken away by aliens.   
  
And the aliens, I imagined, would of course look like J.Lo and would serenade me and give me lap dances all day and night til they couldn't shake those huge asses of theirs anymore.   
  
Glorious.   
  
Before Turk or I could speak up, Cox was gone again.   
  
"What's going on with this guy must be really serious, Dr. Cox seems more ruthless than usual." I say to Turk as we turn our backs and lean against the counter.   
  
"Man, could we really die?"  
  
Just as I am about to flip a sh-t and freak out all together about the utter terrifying-ness of the situation we are currently in, the doors fly open and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life floats through the doors. She has that heavently glow about her, and I'm pretty sure there are little baby birds carrying the tail of her coat with their beaks so it doesn't hit the floor.   
  
Awww, baby birds!  
  
I snap my head back up as the woman approaches us. Oh sweet jeebus.   
  
"Michael Vaughn...I need to see Michael Vaughn." She says, clearly distressed.   
  
Oh, baby, let Dr. JD heal your boo-boo. Where does it hurt...Just tell Dr. JD where it hurts...  
  
"Uh he ah yah uh ummm yah..." Me and Turk babble incoherently, and the woman standing before us...the sole woman who embodies all that is good and pure in this world...looks like she wants to bite our heads off.   
  
"Where. Is. He?" She says, more sternly this time. Me and Turk just keep babbling...I'm trying so hard to stop, I really am. Dammit, JD, MAKE SENSE!  
  
All of a sudden, Carla walks up, slaps both of our heads, causing our mouths to shut (thank God) and she steps behind the counter. "Maybe I can help you. Who are you here to see, again? We aren't allowing any more patients or visitors, unless you have clearance."   
  
She pulls out her wallet from her jacket and flashes her CIA identification card.   
  
Dude, I WANT ONE!!!  
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Yeah, I'm CIA, jackass," I flash my card and shove it in his face, "now give me the kegs..."  
  
"Weeeee! Turk! Lookie what I got with my new card!"   
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
"My name is Agent Sydney Bristow, and Agent Michael Vaughn is my handler." So _that's_ the Sydney he was mumbling about. Damn.   
  
Carla looks at the ID, then hands it back to her. "Right this way." She says, leading her to who I've now dubbed 'da man' seeing that women are flocking to him despite his verging on unconcious state.  
  
"Dude, I'd sooo handle _her_," I laugh and turn to Tod, who of course is being his usual perverted self, "if you know what I mean! Score!" Oh you horny, horny, surgeon. He sticks his hand up and gives me and Turk his trademark high fives. "Now if you'd excuse me, I'm off to summon the sentimental Tod who can provide a troubled woman with a shoulder to cry on and headboards to shake _all night long_." I gotta say, I could really do without the gyrations. But whatever float's his boat.   
  
Me and Turk turn around to watch the scene playing out with Mr. Handler and his hot agent. Carla brings Elliot to us, and we all sit around and eavesdrop, essentially. What we do best, of course.   
  
"Ha, that Sydney doesn't have anything I don't have..." Elliot mutters under her breath.   
  
"You just keep telling yourself that, sweetie," Carla says, patting her shoulder sympathetically.   
  
Sydney walks up to his bed and stands there, staring at him sadly. I never found myself to be the sentimental-type, but I gotta say, this sight tugs at JD's heart strings.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
Kate loves you, Leopold, she really and truly loves you. Why else would she travel through time just to be with you?!  
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
Okay, maybe I _am_ just a bit sentimental...  
  
She pulls up a chair and takes a seat beside him. There's a box of laytex gloves by his bed, and she pulls out a pair and puts them on. Finally he stirs, and shifts his head to look at her.   
  
"Hi," he says softly, but warm, like they may perhaps have more than just an 'agent-handler' relationship.   
  
Does it seem like I'm narrating a soap opera here or something? Because I'm pretty sure it feels like that. What the Hell, I've always wanted to be in the soaps...  
  
"Hi," she responds, taking a deep breath, then pausing for a moment. There is so more to this relationship than what meets the eye.   
  
"Ten bucks says they're dating." Carla says quietly.   
  
"Nah, I say they want to be together, but can't because of CIA protocol." I say, getting into it.   
  
"I'm with JD on this one," Turk adds.   
  
"Ten bucks says she's a slut." Elliot quips bitterly. We quiet up again as she starts to speak once more.  
  
"I talked to my mother, there's an antidote. I'm gonna go get it." She says, her voice filled with sadness.   
  
Antidote? This CIA sh-t is wayyy too creepy for my tastes.   
  
"How dangerous?" He asks, clearly having difficulty speaking.   
  
"Getting the serum? Nah it'll be easy..." She pauses and they stare into each other's eye and it's like there's some unspoken declaration of love taking part, but no one can hear it. Thus the unspoken. "But i need to take some of your blood with me, okay?"  
  
She reaches over and preps his arm for the needle.   
  
"Uh, should you be letting that woman take that man's blood?" I turn my head and lucky me, the janitor is hovering over me like the frightening ogre he is.   
  
"Shhh," I say, waving my hand, trying to get the point across that I want him to shut the Hell up so I can keep eavesdropping.   
  
"Did you just shush me?"   
  
"Yes, now go!"   
  
"She doesn't look like a doctor. Therefore, I don't think she should be taking this deathly ill man's blood. But what do I know, I'm just the _janitor_."   
  
"Yeah, you are, so shut up and leave." I immediately regret my words, for I know this has just sealed my fate. A month or two of complete and utter harrassment by the one man I try to avoid all contact with the most. Wedgie ala Janitor, here I come.   
  
"I'm not gonna forget this," he says as he walks away, and points at me angrily. "You're gonna regret the day you ever met me."  
  
Trust me, I already do.   
  
I turn eagerly back to the scene that's playing out before our eyes.  
  
Aww, they love each other _so_ much! He better not die. Oh God, I will do all I can to save this man because if I have any duty in life, it's to allow two gorgeous people like them (fine, I admit it, the man is a hottie...Thank _God_ I didn't say that out loud) to reproduce and populate this world with more gorgeous people.   
  
"In a couple of days you'll be doing windsprints." She says, placing the vial aside. He looks deep into her eyes once more, and this time takes hold of her hand, and pulls it close to him.   
  
"Be careful."  
  
God, I wish I could get a woman to look at me the way Sydney is looking at this Michael Vaughn guy. She looks down at their clasped hands and places her free hand over his and strokes it soothingly.   
  
Am I tearing up? Oh God, please tell me I'm not tearing up...  
  
I quickly wipe the tears away, then feel less embarassed as I see that I wasn't the only one. Turk, Carla, and even cold, heartless Elliot were affected by this little exchange.   
  
Why, oh why can't I have a Sydney who'd hold my hand and tell me _I'd_ be running windsprints in a couple of days? Oh yeah, I don't run...  
  
That I'll be channel surfing like a pro in a couple of days?!  
  
Life isn't fair, I'll tell you that.   
  
"Syd, I'm sorry I'm so tired," he pratically whispers, turning his head away and slowly closing his eyes. Oh no, this can't be good. Sydney stares at him intently, the tears flowing freely now, and she just continues to stroke his hand.   
  
Suddenly, all the machines connected to him begin to go off, and Dr. Cox, Carla, and a couple of other people run up to him.   
  
"VAUGHN!" Sydney exclaims as she jumps up and backs away from the bed.  
  
"He's bleeding internally. Call Kelso, we're heading up to the OR." Dr. Cox says seriously as they roll 'Vaughn' away.  
  
Carla stays behind and Sydney runs up to her.   
  
"Wait, wait, wait, what's going on? Is he going to be alright?" Sydney asks frantically.  
  
"We don't know, but you have to wait here. They told me to tell you that your designated cover is that you're with the State Department's Bureau of Arms Control. Your name is Rita Stevens. Give no details about his illness."  
  
Sydney wipes her tears quicky, and as she turns around, she's approached by a petite blonde with short hair. Eh, I give her a 4 out of ten. She ain't all that, and a bag of chips.   
  
Hey, that saying is _so_ still in.   
  
"Who's she?" Elliot whispers.  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Excuse me? Did they tell you anything?" The blonde woman asks, frazzled.  
  
"No." Sydney responds, hiding her emotions very well given what state she was in only moments before. I guess that's what they teach you at Spy School.  
  
"The paramedics called...They asked me what his last meal was and if he was allergic to any medications...I got to the hospital as fast as I could. So you work with Michael?"   
  
Oooh, Michael. Not Vaughn. Family member maybe? Or, dare I say...GIRLFRIEND?  
  
"Yeah, we're in the same bureau at state. I'm Rita."  
  
No, you're not, silly girl! You're Sydney! The nymph sent from above to take me away from this Hell hole so I can live a life filled with sex, sex, and more sex. With you of course. Ha, Rita...   
  
"I'm Alice. I'm listed as his emergency contact...I'm Michael's girlfriend."   
  
All three of us gasp at this sudden realization, and I couldn't help but speak up...  
  
"Dayyyum."  
  
**END CHAPTER TWO**


	3. 3

**Chapter Three**   
  
Good God, I can say with complete confidence that this little twist in events was the last thing I'd ever expect to happen. EVER. I mean, so what if this guy can't go out with Sydney, clearly they love each other...And the bastard had a girlfriend.   
  
A girlfriend!   
  
"That pig." I hear Elliot mutter under her breath.   
  
I turn to Turk and Elliot, who are clearly in as much shock as I am  
  
"Duuuude, I gotta get me some popcorn. This is insane."   
  
It really is. First of all, when do we ever get the chance to just stand around and eavesdrop on other patients conversations?  
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"And then I told him that I wouldn't take it anymore...I was ready to move on with my life _without him_."   
  
"No! What'd he say?" I ask, leaning in and rolling my chair closer the two women who looked like they were ready to slap a restraining order on me in five...four...three...two...  
  
**End Flashback**_  
  
Okay, let me rephrase that...When do we ever have virtually no patients to take care of and therefore are able to eavesdrop on patients' conversations without getting our asses kicked by Cox for doing so? Ah, that's what I thought...Never. And how often do the patients we eavesdrop on have such captivating lives?   
  
I've been sucked in and I don't know if there's anyway I can get out of it.   
  
I turn my attention back to Sydney, who still looks devestated from the news she just heard from that blonde bimbo's mouth. I mean really, of all the people he could have as a girlfriend, why on God's green earth would that man choose _her_?! It makes absolutely no sense.   
  
"How could he do that to her?" I whisper to Turk and Elliot.   
  
"Because he's a pig, clearly." Elliot answers quickly.   
  
"Just because he has a girlfriend automatically makes him a pig?!" Turk asks incredulously. "The dude isn't allowed to mack on this here honey, so he turns to another beehive to satisfy his sweet tooth, I don't see the problem in that."   
  
"Of course you don't...You're a pig, too. And I'm telling Carla." Elliot taunts as she walks toward the Elliot.   
  
"Hey, Elliot, wait up! There _is_ a problem with that! There _is_! Now don't tell Carla what I told you!" He calls out as Elliot steps into the elevator and the doors close. "Dammit, man, I'm screwed."   
  
"That you are, that you are." I say, my eyes still focused on Sydney.   
  
"Damn, that must suck for her." Turk says, following my eyes to Sydney, then turning her head to look at Little-Miss-Goldielocks, who's talking to some man dressed in a black suit, in the waiting room.   
  
"Yeah," I say sympathetically.   
  
"I gotta go check on my patient...Page me if there are any developments. 'Kay, man?"   
  
"Sounds good," I say jumping up onto the counter so I can get a seat.   
  
As Turk walks away, I see Sydney pull out her cell, press a button, then put it to her ear. She places her other hand on her forehead and her chest rises and falls with every deep breath she takes.   
  
Up...Down...Up...Down...Up...  
  
Calm yourself, JD. This isn't the time, nor the place for such thoughts.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
*Cue "Let's Get it On"*  
  
"A girlfriend? The son-of-a-bitch." I say, and scoot closer to Sydney on the couch.   
  
"I know, after all we'd been through, he had a girlfriend. I feel sad and defenseless...Have sex with me JD."   
  
"I thought you'd never ask..."  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
As much as I hate doing it, I pull myself out of my glorious daydream and pick up a chart from beside me and pretend to look like I'm not completely and utterly useless as Sydney walks by me toward the waiting room. Out of the corner of my eye (I have outstanding peripheral vision, it really is frightening) I see Sydney stop in her tracks as she notices Alice stand up and shake hands with the man she's talking to.   
  
Sydney quickly turns around and pauses almost directly in front of me.   
  
"Hey, Dad. Is everything ready? I'll be there in fifteen minutes..."   
  
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar smells sweet, and so do you...  
  
"No, Dad, there's no way you're going to stop me. I'm _going_ to get that antidote whether you like it or not. I'm not just going to sit back and watch Vaughn die, you can't ask me to do that."   
  
So dedicated, so loving. But the fact of the matter is that the man's got a girlfriend, so come over here for some JD style lovin'. You know you want to.   
  
"I don't give a sh-t about anything but helping Vaughn right now, Dad. Now did they set an alias up for me? Okay, good. I'm going but I need you to take care of everything else for me." She looks around slowly as she says this last sentence, and I quickly put the chart in front of my face.   
  
La-dee-da. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Just doin' the doctor thing, you know. Reading charts, pondering the latest medical developments. They don't call me JD, MD just cause it rhymes, you know.   
  
I hear her snap her cell shut, and I put down the file discreetly and jump off the counter. She turns to me and gives a weak smile.   
  
"Hey, don't worry about Mr. Vaughn. We've got great doctors here, we'll take care of him." I don't know how the words come out but they do and I'm ecstatic beyond belief for she is doing the smile with the head tilt.   
  
Score one for JD.   
  
Goooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll.  
Goooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll.  
  
"Thanks," I'm too lost in my post-goal scoring celebration to realize that she actually said more after that..."You better hold me to that promise, because I'm gonna want to see him when I get back."  
  
"You bet." I say with a warm smile, faking being normal for one second. "Be careful."   
  
She looks up startled at my statement, then suspicious, but I simply put on the smitten kitten look that I've mastered and she smiles again.   
  
"Thank you, I will." She looks up again and sees that Alice is now gone, and I'm pretty sure she breathes a sigh of relief.   
  
"And if it makes you feel any better, he loves you more than her. The first person he asked for when he came in here was Sydney. I'm pretty sure "Sydney, somebody call Sydney" were the first words I heard coming from his mouth."  
  
She looks back up at me with a "he loves me he really loves me" look crossed with "oh God, please let him live through this so we can have lots of little babies and live happily ever after." Her eyes start to well up as she smiles faintly, and lets out a little laugh. Not as if anything was actually funny, but sort of a release of pent up emotion, I guess.   
  
"It does. Thanks Dr..." She trails off giving me the indication that she wants to know my name.   
  
"JD. You can just call me JD."   
  
"Thanks, JD. Hopefully I'll see you again real soon."   
  
"You will, don't worry."   
  
And out she goes, like the goddess she is. And I can die happy cuz I just scored. Not in the literal sense, but in the figurative sense, indeed. Because, see, people like JD here don't score with women like that. The closest they get to scoring is verbal scoring. And I don't mean like talking dirty--  
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Oh baby, JD, tell me more, tell me more..."   
  
"You so hot when I touch you my fingertips sizzle."   
  
Silence.   
  
"I told you I'm not good at dirty talk..."   
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
So yeah, that little exchange was the most I could ever ask for.   
  
Suddenly, I feel something against my chest and I look down and see the janitor writing crap on my scrubs.   
  
"What the Hell are you doing?!" I exclaim and push him down angrily. He sits on the ground stunned for a moment, and then looks up at me, his mouth forming a frown.   
  
"And after all this time, I thought me and you had made such progress." He says, standing up slowly and shaking his head sadly.   
  
"I'm sorry--" I start, but am quickly cut off by him.   
  
"Yeah, you should be, cause that's one down, nine hundred ninety nine to go."   
  
Oh. F--k.   
  
He throws two sticks of red lipstick at my face and as they fall to the groud I look at my shirt.   
  
Oh. F--k.   
  
_I am sexually incompetent_  
  
And if that wasn't obvious enough, we've got arrows pointing to my face and arrows pointing to my crotch.   
  
OH F--K!  
  
My crotch definitely has a huge red x across it. And all the while, I thought I was just excited for being so close to Sydney--  
  
---  
  
As I change out of my scrubs and throw those ones away, Tod walks in.   
  
"I'm so sorry, man. I heard about all about it."   
  
"About what?" I ask.   
  
He thrusts his pelvis a few times then shakes his head from side to side sadly.   
  
"It must suck, dude."   
  
"Don't listen to anything that monster tells you. NOTHING!" I scream as I walk out the door.   
  
"Nine hundred ninety eight..." I hear echo through the halls over the loudspeaker.   
  
Oh. F--k.  
  
I shake my head and try to forget about the deep sh-t I've gotten myself into when I see Elliot and Turk standing where we were before, watching Carla talk with an older man dressed in a suit and long jacket. He flashes his card, and I can't help but wimper at the fact that I am insanely jealolus of those little pieces of plastic.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Freeze, sucka!" I flash my card and point my gun at the kid in front of me. He starts crying, drops his Slurpee and pack of baseball cards and runs away as fast as he can.   
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
I walk up to Turk and Elliot and take my perch on the counter once again.   
  
"What's up?" I ask as they turn toward me.   
  
"Apparently, not your 'little friend.'" Elliot says inbetween laughs before high fiving Turk.   
  
Good God.   
  
I sigh and roll my eyes, in order to hide the fear that Elliot will replace my role as the cream to Turk's coffee, and I think I do it pretty well.   
  
"That's a lie, a complete and utter lie."   
  
"Uh-huh, sure..." Elliot mutters with a grin as she turns back to watch Carla and the older man.   
  
"Who's that guy?" I ask, motioning to them with my head.   
  
"I don't know, but he's CIA also. I think I heard Bristow, but wasn't that Sydney's name?" Turk questions.   
  
"Yeah...Maybe it's her Dad. I heard her talking to him on the phone before she left--"   
  
"I don't care what the Hell you're policy is for visitors, I need to see Agent Vaughn, and I'm going to whether you like it or not."   
  
"I'm sorry, Agent Bristow, but he's far too weak to see anyone--"  
  
"For the love of God, he's right there, I can see him from here, just let me go speak to him, and there won't be any trouble here." He pushes his way past Carla and heads toward Agent Vaughn's bed.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there bub. Where do you think _you're_ going?" Dr. Cox jumps in front of Agent Bristow and puts his arms out to stop him from going any further.   
  
"I have to see Agent Vaughn, this is urgent."   
  
"Hmm, last time I checked, I didn't _give a crap about urgency._ You may be the head honcho in that Central Intellegence Agency of your's, but in this hospital, _I'm_ the top dog. So when you're here, you do as I say."   
  
Mr. Bristow stares at him for a moment, then nods his head.   
  
"Oh, is that so?"  
  
"Yes, that's so."   
  
All of a sudden, Mr. Bristow grabs the lapels of Dr. Cox's white coat and pulls Cox violently toward him.   
  
"If you want to keep that incredibly obnoxious mouth of yours, I would highly reccomend getting out of my face."   
  
Go, Bristow! Go, Bristow! Go, Bristow!  
  
Did you ever know that you're my heeeeero, and everything I would like to beeeee?  
  
"How is she?" Mr. Bristow drops Dr. Cox as he hears Vaughn's question and straightens out his suit before walking up to his bed.   
  
"Well--" He starts as he closes the curtain to give themselves more privacy. Damn whoever created those swishy plastic curtains!  
  
Cox walks up to us, clearly seething, but too afraid of Agent Bristow to act on his anger.   
  
"Who been bitch-slapped? You been bitch-slapped!" I hear Dr. Kelso taunt, and I try to stifle the laugh that's growing in the back of my throat and the smile that's creeping on my lips.   
  
"Crack a smile, newbie, and you'll regret the day your father's sperm fertilized your mother's egg."   
  
Why am I never allowed to experience joy of any sort? And why does the man love to plant such images in my mind that clearly imply that my parents had sex and that's how I was concieved rather than the notion I particularly like to believe...That the stork dropped me off on our doorstep.   
  
It was the stork, and I'm sticking with it.   
  
**END CHAPTER THREE**


	4. 4

**Chapter Four**   
  
Yesterday could have very well been the craziest day of my life. Having the CIA agent come and practically shut down the hospital, Sydney, the angel from above, coming into my life...Cox getting his ass kicked and wimpering like a little baby. What more could a guy ask for?   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Look, JD, I'm a_ real _dog, just like you wished for!"   
  
I look at Rowdy lovingly as I begin to tear up.   
  
"I know Rowdy, I know. This has been the most amazing day of my life."   
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
Okay, maybe it _could_ have been more awesome than it was, but I have a feeling that would be asking for a bit too much.   
  
The point I was trying to get at was that the day kicked ass, and not only did we not have to treat any new patients then, but we also have no new patients now. It's not that I don't _like_ my patients, it's just that somedays you just don't feel like getting little Franky to poop out his mother's jewelry or having Old Lady Hobo coming in and trying to put the moves on me.   
  
I know I'm undeniably gorgeous and women can't keep their hands, eyes, _or_ thoughts off me, but enough is enough!  
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"Heyyy, ladies. What's goin down in the _hot ladies _corner of the bar," I say, giving my trademark JD head nod and wink to the two hot blondes sitting in front of me.   
  
They start to stifle their laughs and I laugh too, nudging the girl closest to me with my shoudler.  
  
"Security!"  
  
Oh sh-t.  
  
**End Flashback**_  
  
I see Turk coming down the hall and I quickly catch up with him.   
  
"Hey, Turkinator. Turkster. Turk-a-Lurk-a-Ding-Dong--"   
  
"Dude, what have I told you about not putting my name into rhymes?"   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I say quickly, "I won't do it again. Now you wanna go out and get something to eat? I'm starving and there's nothing to do here."   
  
"Sorry, man, but I have some patients I have to check up on, maybe later." He says then walks toward the elevator as he looks at the charts in his hand.   
  
Stupid surgeons. And their stupid surgery patients. That they always have to check up on...Stupidly.   
  
Ooh, Elliot! She'd _never_, and I mean _never_ turn down an opportunity to go to lunch. Pigging out is certainly her forte. She's standing by the Vaughn guy's bed, and is just staring down at him sadly.   
  
"Hey, Elliot..." I say softly, not wanting to interrupt this moment she's having.   
  
"Oh, hey, JD." She replies quietly, wiping her face. Wait a second...Was she crying?   
  
"Elliot, what's wrong?" I ask, touching her shoulder, gently.   
  
"It's nothing. You're just gonna make fun of me or something."   
  
"Since when would I do thing like that?" I ask, leading her towards the counter, where we can talk.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
Your father CUT YOU OFF?! HA. HA. HA. So little miss perfect won't get to have her palace of an apartment and will have to live in studio apartment, just like the rest of us. Oh boo hoo. No money for food?! HA, serves you right for eating...Pizza every night.  
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
She's about to speak up and shoot me down, I'm sure, when I cut her off. "Don't answer that."   
  
"JD, really, it's nothing, I have to go--"   
  
"Come on, Elliot, it's me. Trusy old JD. The guy who's always here as your shoulder to cry on and the body to snuggle against." ALL. NIGHT. LONG.   
  
BOOYAH.   
  
"JD, you're such an ass."   
  
"I know, now tell me what's wrong."   
  
"It's just..."   
  
Speak woman, for the love of God!  
  
"I'm just scared." She finally spit out.   
  
"Scared of what?" I ask, concerned. Elliot's not the kind of woman that openly admits that she's scared, so this is a little troubling.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"I'm scared of cats, dogs, fleas, any kind of insects, arachnids, mallets, animals dressed up as humans, humans dressed up as animals--"   
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
Okay, she is one to openly admit her fears, but not to the point where she'd actually shed tears over it. This can't be good.   
  
"I'm just scared that what if I end up like him. Sitting on a hospital bed, on the verge of death, knowing that I never found my one true love. And died alone and--"   
  
"But he's not alone, he has Sydney--"   
  
"And the bitch girlfriend, I know but--"   
  
"And you have your little Murse Flowers man. Before you know it, you guys will be walking down the aisle and churning out little murses like crazy." Okay, you need to realize before I go on, how much it pained me to say this. Pain doesn't adequately express the emotion I felt when speaking of the Male Nurse that puts all other Male Nurses to shame with his Mursey-ness. I feel like puking just talking about him. But what else am I supposed to say?   
  
_Oh Elliot, have no fear for your knight in shining armor is here. To whisk you away and live happily ever after with you._   
  
Uh, no.   
  
Elliot sighed and rolled her eyes as she started to walk away.   
  
"JD, me and Paul broke up."   
  
HALLELUJAH. HALLELUJAH.   
  
"Really?" I ask excitedly, causing Elliot to turn around, confused by my exicted reaction. "I mean...uh..._Really_? What happened? I thought you guys were having a great little...uh...Relationship thingy..."   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
*Cue "Let's Get it On"*  
  
"You broke up? The son-of-a-bitch." I say, and scoot closer to Elliot on the couch.   
  
"I know, after all we'd been through, he broke up with me. I feel sad and defenseless...Have sex with me JD."   
  
"I thought you'd never ask..."  
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
"Well, it wasn't," Elliot sighs and crosses her arms. "So what if I die alone, JD, after contracting some virus that no one knows anything about and doesn't have a cure? I won't have a Sydney to go get the antidote and save me. I'd just wither away and die. Alone. With no one. No one but Mr. Fluffy. And I don't even have Mr. Fluffy because I left him at home last Christmas! I'm screwed JD! I can just forget about Bono singing at my wedding."   
  
Um, okay...I'm just gonna pretend like she didn't just say all that.   
  
And I'm still hungry.  
  
"Hey, Elliot, you wanna go out to lunch and we can talk about it?" I call out as she walks down the hall, away from me. She turns around and starts walking backwards.   
  
"Didn't you hear, JD? We can't leave. We've been confined to the hospital until Mr. Vaughn gets the antidote or dies. He might as well die because what's the use of saving such a hot guy if I can't even be with him? I'm going to die alone, JD. All alone," she raises her arms into the air as she finishes and turns around, continuing to walk down the hall.   
  
Um, okay...So that didn't turn out so well. And I can't go out to eat. So I guess that leaves me with the vending machines. Vending machines, here I come.   
  
I reach into my pockets as I approach the machines, and pull out my wallet.  
  
Dammit.   
  
"Hey, you need a buck or two?" I look up to see the Janitor hovering over me menacingly. How does he always manage to creep up without me realizing it? I'll never understand.   
  
"Uhh, yeah actually, I'd pay you back--"   
  
He pulls out out a stack of ones from his pocket and starts fanning himself with them. "Oh how the tables have turned."   
  
"What? What are you talking about."   
  
"Dr. Richie Rich is asking the little ole Janitor for money. I never thought I'd see the day."   
  
"It's no big deal...It's just a buck." I scoff.  
  
"Oh, so it's _just a buck_ now, eh?" Oh sh-t. I've made him angry. Oh sh-t. "Well, these little bills may be _just a few bucks_ but that could be the difference between my son getting real shoes or wearing the strips of leather I found in the dumpster that my wife made into mocassins by sewing together with her pinkie and thumb since she lost all the other fingers working in the factories since she was _twelve_."   
  
You've gotta be kidding me. I stare at him for a moment before breaking out into hysterics.   
  
"You are the absolute _worst_ actor on the face of this Earth. I mean...Mocassins? Couldnt you have come up with _anything_ better than that? And who just happens to _stumble_ upon scraps of leather in the _dumpster_?"   
  
Oh sh-t. My laughter slowly fades away as I notice the furious expression taking shape on the janitor's face.   
  
Run for the hills! He's gonna blow!  
  
"You think my life's funny?"   
  
"No, sir, no I don't sir."   
  
"Yes you do."   
  
I stand in complete and utter fear, and I think I may just be trembling. Holy shiznit. Did I wet my pants? For the love of God, please say I did _not_ just pee my pants.   
  
The smell of ammonia fills my senses, and I slowly break eye contact with him and look down at my pants. Holy sh--  
  
Thank God. Not pee. Gotta say I'm a tad relieved there. Sure my crotch may be soaked in some cleaning agent that I'm sure will leave a burning sensation on my little buddy, but it's far better than peeing my pants in public.  
  
Holy sh-t. No it's not.   
  
I sprint to the locker room as fast as I can, hearing only the janitor's scary-ass laugh echo in my mind.   
  
Why is my life so goddamn hard?  
  
---  
  
After a much needed change of clothes, I make my way back to the area near the front desk where Vaughn's bed is. I walk up to it and see that he's fast asleep, the way he's pretty much always been since Mr. Bristow left yesterday afternoon.   
  
"Why can't my life be as easy as yours? Sitting on your deathbed waiting for the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen to save your life." I say outloud, not expecting any response, seeing that this area is virtually empty except for me and him.   
  
Which gives me the thought...How cool would it be to be best friends with this guy?!  
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Dude, can I wear your gun holster? Please? Pretty please with cherries on top?"   
  
"Okay, but only if you never pretty please me with cherries on top ever again."   
  
"Will do. Weeeeeeeee, I'm wearing a gun holster! Come and get me ladies, cuz I know you want me."   
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
"My life's not as easy as you think, man." Holy sh-t, the virtually dead man speaks!  
  
I can't help but feel embarassed after being caught talking to a guy that I thought was either asleep or unconcious.   
  
"I'm sorry, I thought you were--"   
  
"Asleep, I know." He says, struggling to lean up a little bit in his bed.   
  
"Hey, try not to move around. It can't be good for you if you have to try that hard, you know?"   
  
He laughs lightly, then turns his head towards me on the pillow.   
  
"What's your name?" He asks softly.   
  
"JD."   
  
"Hey, JD, I'm Mike," he says, lifting his hand as much as he can, which is about an inch above the bed. I quickly reach my hand over and shake his.   
  
Funny, despite his weakened state, the man still has a firm handshake. I'm impressed. But then again, I was impressed when he had the women flocking to him like bees to pollen.   
  
"So how'd this all happen, Mike?" I ask, curious to hear the backstory behind this crazy virus that has infected his body.   
  
"It's a long story." He says, shaking his head sadly. I pull up a chair and take a seat beside his bed.   
  
"Well, I've got time." He pauses for a moment and looks at me.   
  
"I can trust you, right?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"I can trust you, right man?" Turk asks me seriously.   
  
"Of course," I respond quickly.   
  
(The Next Day)   
  
"Dude, Miss Piggy?! That's kinky man!" Todd exclaims, reaching his hand up to give Turk a high five. Turk gives me the death stare, and I run like there's no tomorrow.  
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
"Of course." I say, blocking that memory from my mind.   
  
"Well, it all started a little more than a year ago when Sydney Bristow walked into my office at the CIA headquarters..."   
  
---  
  
_An Hour Later_   
  
"I guess the big question is," I start, taking a deep breath as I try to digest all the information he's told me in the past hour, "do you love her?"   
  
He looks at me and is about to answer when his eyes bug out. "Oh sh-t." He pretends to be asleep and I turn around to see what scared the sh-t out of him.   
  
"Oh hey, JD. Were you talking to Michael there?" Elliot asks, approaching me fast.   
  
"Oh, nah, I was just...Um...Watching him sleep." Dammit, JD, you could have come up with any excuse, but you chose the blatantly homosexual one. This is not the kind of thing that will clear up my name at this hospital.   
  
"Oh I totally understand," Elliot says excitedly as she walks up to the bed and stands by the head of it, "he looks beautiful while he sleeps, doesn't he?"   
  
Okay, yeah, it's really creepy that Mike has to listen to her say this and she doesn't even know it. _Really_ creepy.  
  
"Uh, yeah. So Elliot, Dr. Kelso came through here about ten minutes ago, asking for you. He said that he wanted to talk to you about how the apartment search was going?"   
  
"Oh really?" She asks excitedly. Oh, you gotta love what a guillible fool Elliot is.   
  
"Uh-huh," I respond, reciprocating her excitement.   
  
"I'll go find him then. Thanks for telling me, JD."   
  
When Elliot finally walks into the elevator and I wave bye to her as the door closes, I make my way back to the bed, and take a seat next to him.   
  
"Thanks, man. That woman is insane." He says, breathing a sigh of relief.   
  
"Trust me, I know. We used to go out."   
  
"Are you kidding?! You had sex with _her_?!" He asks incredulously. You would think that a man who was on the verge of death wouldn't be able to express such disbelief in his weakened state. Hey, there's something attractive about her freakish tendencies. That and her hot bod.   
  
"It's a long story." I say, laughing.   
  
"Well, I've got time," he replies, repeating the same words I said more than an hour ago.   
  
"I'm sure you do, but you've chosen to skillfully avert my previous question, which I think was verging on some real progress. Sydney. Do you love her?"   
  
He takes a deep breath, then nods his head slowly.   
  
"Yeah," he looks up and makes eye contact with me, "so much it hurts, man."   
  
"Literally _and_ figuratively!" I say, laughing at my witty reference to his illness, but he clearly doesn't find it funny, so I shut up quickly. "Well then, why don't you tell her?"   
  
"It's too complicated. The effect of those three little words could very well destroy our live as we know it."   
  
"But it could also give you everything you ever wanted." I say smiling. Mike looks down and I see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows.   
  
"God, JD, I'm so scared."   
  
"What, that she won't love you back? Trust me, dude, she will. There's no doubt in my mind. And it's not just because she's out risking her life as we speak to save yours, but...God, you should have just seen her when she came here to see you and you were sent up to the OR. There's absolutely no way this woman doesn't love you."   
  
A faint smile crosses his lips, but fades as fast as it appeared.   
  
"No...I'm just scared that...I won't make it through this to tell her--"   
  
"Hey," I cut him off, with a smile on my face, "you're gonna make it through this. Trust me."   
  
We sit in silence for a few moments before he speaks up again.   
  
"Thanks, JD. Thanks a lot."   
  
"No problem, man." I say, leaning back in my chair. "Now tell me about this Alice woman that came to see you yesterday. She says she was listed as your emergency contact because she's your _girlfriend_." My eyebrows raise with the last word, and I can't help but laugh as he covers his face with his hand and groans.   
  
"You're kidding me, right?" He asks, taking his hand down and looking at me again. "My girlfriend? That woman is insane."   
  
"So she's not your girlfriend? Because she introduced herself to Sydney as that."   
  
"F--k."   
  
I laugh again as Michael lets out another groan.   
  
"She's only still listed as my emergency contact because I haven't had another girlfriend that knew so much about me and knew my family contacts since I broke up with her."   
  
"Lemme guess, you broke up with her when you were assigned as Sydney's handler."   
  
"You got it," he says, lifting his finger and pointing to me, "you're a smart guy, JD."   
  
"Atleast someone thinks I am," I joke.   
  
All of a sudden, the doors fly open and Sydney and her father come rushing through the doors toward me and Michael.   
  
"Speak of the devil." I mutter under my breath.   
  
"Sydney," he says faintly as she approaches him. She smiles sadly and fumbles with the vial in her hand before her father snatches it out of her hands.   
  
"Give it to me, you're far too nervous to do something that's so crucial to Vaughn's survival."   
  
I find myself smiling at the scene in front of me like a Mother sending her daughter off to the prom. Or me and Turk marvelling at Rowdy's amazing tricks seeing that he's only a stuffed dog.   
  
They are staring at each in a way that I've never seen two people ever look at each other. A look can speak volumes, that's for sure. They both know how they feel about it, regardless of whether it's been said outloud or not. They know it deep down inside.   
  
Jack injects Vaughn with the antidote and places the needle on the side.   
  
"VAUGHN!" I hear Sydney scream as the machines connected to him start to go off again. "JD!" Sydney calls desperately out to me.   
  
Oh f--k.   
  
I race to the bed and pick up the phone beside it and page Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso.   
  
**END CHAPTER FOUR**


	5. 5

**Chapter Five**   
  
As Dr. Cox came and rolled Mike back up to the OR, just like he did last time Sydney came (Hmmm, freaky coincidence, or a sign from the powers above? I'll stick with freaky coincidence) I didn't know what to say. There Sydney was, on the verge of breakdown with her father trying to comfort her, but they clearly had some unresolved issues...  
  
I couldn't just go up to her and wisk her away. For one thing, Mike would kick my ass. For another thing, her dad scares the sh-t out of me.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"I own you, Dorian, never forget that."   
  
"Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir."   
  
"Who owns you?"   
  
"You own me, sir."   
  
"Dorian..."   
  
"You own me, _master_."   
  
"That's better."   
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
Yeah, JD will stay far, far away.   
  
---  
  
"What's going on?" I turn around and see Elliot coming down the hall. I turn and am about to answer her when Sydney calls my name.   
  
Hmm, Sydney...Elliot..._Sydney_...Elliot...  
  
I'm comin' home, mama, I'm comin' home. I turn back around and totally blow off Elliot as I make my way to Sydney.   
  
I hear Elliot faintly. "How rude, did you see that?"   
  
"Honey, who would _you_ have chosen?" Nurse Roberts says, leaning over the front desk and watching as I approach Sydney.   
  
"Yeah, who am I kidding?" Elliot responds, then walks away. Wow, easier than I expected it to be.  
  
"Hey," I say as I stop in front of Sydney and avoid all possible eye contact with her dad.   
  
"Hey, JD. Dad this is JD." She says, introducing me to the Hulk.   
  
Hulk definitely is scarier than the "Incredible" Hulk. The "Incredible" Hulk just makes him sound like a freak show in the circus. Like the woman with the the _incredible_ beard.   
  
Damn, JD, why be you so funny?  
  
"JAY dee?" He asks, glaring suspiciously at the hand I've put forth for him to shake.   
  
Don't worry, I wash. No cooties here.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"Hey, come here, I have a problem," Janitor says to me, concerned. I follow him into the bathroom, worried about what I am about to encounter.   
  
"I'm sorry if Mr. Peeps isn't workin' with the wifey, but that's none of my--" I start, but am quickly pushed back into the bathroom and into a stall.   
  
**Flashback within a Flashback**  
  
"DUNK THE CHEERLEADER!"   
  
"Come on guys, all I wanted to do was bring some spirit to the baske--"  
  
[FLUSH]  
  
**End Flashback within a Flashback**  
  
"Now what you're gonna do is stick your hand in the toilet and get my wedding ring for me. Now."   
  
I laugh nervously, and turn around to face the bane of my existence. "Why can't you do it? You have those long rubber gloves that you wear--" He glares at me and I try desperately to win his affections back. "That look so lovely on you--"   
  
"Get. It. Now."   
  
"Can't I atleast go get some gloves--"   
  
"Get. It. Now."   
  
I close my eyes and reach down into the toilet...  
  
**End Flashback**_  
  
"Doctor...John Dorian..." I say, trying to regain the little amount of respectability I should have.   
  
He still has that scary ass scowl on his face, and all I can do is look at him with my best "You know you love little ole JD!" grin. He slowly begins to reach over, and shakes my hand.   
  
I guess the firm handshake comes with the whole "being in the CIA" thing.  
  
Holy. Sh-t.   
  
My...Hand...The man...Is...Killing my hand...  
  
Suddenly his beeper goes off, and I thank God for making whoever is beeping him beep him at that exact moment, forcing him to release my hand.   
  
Oww...I think I just got hand raped...  
  
I hold my weak hand in my good one and inspect it. I wouldn't be suprised if there were many many little fractures under those forming bruises.   
  
"Sydney, it's Sloane. I have to go. I'll keep you covered until tomorrow morning, but you'll have to show up at 10."   
  
"Okay, thanks."   
  
Mr. Bristow looks at Sydney as though he wants to say something, but thinks better of it and leaves.   
  
I think I may have shed tears. My hand...Hurt...So...EFFING MUCH, DAMMIT!  
  
What am I gonna do? How am I gonna bathe Rowdy? How am I going to pick up girls with a LAME HAND?!  
  
"Sorry about that, my dad can be..." She starts, then fades off as she tries to come up with the word.   
  
"A cold-hearted bastard with a handshake so firm it could bend iron?"   
  
"Well, that wasn't exactly what I was gonna say--"   
  
"The epitome of all that should be feared in this world?"   
  
"Ummm...Yeah, that too. But I was gonna say intimidating. He can be a bit intimidating."   
  
Mount Everest is intimidating.   
This man makes me want to sh-t myself and cry for my Mommy.  
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Mooooooooooooommmyyyyyyyyyy" I cry from the bathroom.  
  
"Dude, you gotta stop doing this," Turk says through the door.  
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
"Yeah, just a little." I say, laughing lightly. Clearly Sydney doesn't care, for she's staring longingly at the elevator, like she's just waiting for Mike to come through them again.  
  
"Sandy, change out of the stilettos cause we're walkin," Cox says as he walks past me.   
  
He could atleast give the calling me women's names a rest while I'm around Sydney. The one person who has yet to realize my utter un-coolness. I catch up with Cox and am walking in stride with him down the hall, taking a glance over my shoulder to see Syd staring at us in confusion.   
  
"Okay, Newbie. I'm out of here. You're in charge of Mr. CIA-Fancy-Pants. I don't want anything to do with," he lowers his voice and looks over at Sydney, "Jack Bristow."   
  
"Haaaaaaa, is Coxy-woxy scaredy-waredy?" I mock, despite the fact that the little voice in the back of my head is desperately begging me not to do it.   
  
"Zip it!" He snaps, then points a warning finger in my face. "Trust me, you haven't seen scared--"   
  
Dammit. Why do I always bring this crap upon myself?!  
  
"Ehhhhh" Dr. Cox throws his arms into the air and grunts in annoyance. "I'm out, you're in. Don't screw up. And stop sniffing that lovely little fire hydrant, newbie, and stick to the blow-up dolls. They can't be in love with other guys while you're chasin them around."   
  
"Ha, and how would _you_ know?" I call out as Cox walks back towards the locker room shaking his head sadly. "Dr. Cox plays with blow up...Dolls..."   
  
I look around and see that absolutely no one cares, so I make my way back to Syd.   
  
"Where's Dr. Cox going? I thought he was going to be in charge of Vaughn--"   
  
"He had an emergency and had to get to at home." And by emergency, I mean beers that need to be drunk and babies that need to be eaten. "He left me all of Mike's charts, so it'll be alright. He shouldn't be much longer, everything will be fine, Sydney."  
  
"Mike?" She asks, looking at me curiously.  
  
"Um, yeahhh, that kind of is his name and all..."   
  
"So you've been talking to him?" She asks anxiously.   
  
"Yeah, just a little," I say grinning as I take a seat on a chair in the waiting room. "Me and Mike are tight now, yo."   
  
Yeahhhh, JD, show off those mad skillz of yours.   
  
"Tight?" She asks, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah, tight...It's like...Good friends--"   
  
"JD, I know what 'tight' means..."   
  
"Oh, sorry."   
  
"So what did you talk about?"   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"I'd soooo do her!" I exclaim, chugging a little container of milk.   
  
"I know!" Mike exclaims excitedly. "Wait a second, you're talking about Sydney, right? Dude, that's so not cool..."  
  
**End Flashback**_  
  
Yeah, so we talked about how he wanted to make mad monkey love to you, and how I did too. But I was lucky that he was the deathly ill one or I could very well be dead right now.  
  
"Stuff," I reply, grinning once again.   
  
"Well, what kind of stuff. Come on, tell me JD." Sydney whines. Dude, I have a woman _grovelling_ at my feet. Well, not at my feet, but at my eye level. Needless to say, this is the first time I've made a woman grovel. I think this is going to go down in JD history as one of the best moments of my life...  
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"Dude, this is so going down as one of the best moments of my life," I say out of breath as me and Turk run around the corner and into our apartment. I slam the door and we jump onto the couch and pretend to be watching tv.   
  
The doorbell rings and I jump up to answer it.   
  
"Oh, hey Mr. Wilson!" I gasp, and cover my mouth with my hands. "Rowdy! We found you! Thank you so much, Mr. Wilson, I don't know_ how_ he gets out..."   
  
"He's stuffed."   
  
"I know, he's a gifted dog," I say, then close the door and am greeted by Turk's thunderous laughter.   
  
"Definitely one of the best moments of my life."   
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
Those were the days.   
  
"JD..."   
  
"If you're asking whether he mentioned your or not...He did." I say mysteriously.   
  
I look over and laugh as I see a blush wash over her face.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
[Sydney breaks out into song]  
  
Does he love me? I want to know  
How can I tell, if he loves me so?  
  
[Me, Elliot, and Turk pop out and sing back-up]  
  
Is it in his eyes?  
  
Oh no, you'll be deceived  
  
Is it in his signs?  
  
Oh no, he'll make believe  
If you want to know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
  
That's where it is  
  
**End Daydream**_  
  
Right as I'm about to speak up, the elevator doors open up, and I see Carla pushing his bed over to where it sat only hours before.   
  
Sydney immediately stands up and walks towards the bed.   
  
"He's a little groggy," Carla says, to Sydney, who doesn't seem to be listening.   
  
Sydney pulls a chair up and takes a seat by his bed.   
  
"She's got it bad, doesn't she?" Carla asks me as she passes by, I just nod, then turn to follow her away.   
  
"JD," I hear Sydney call out. I turn around suprised, and she pulls up a chair next to her.   
  
HALLELUJAH. HALLELUJAH.   
  
I know I can't win her heart, but being a friend is just as good in this case.   
  
Mike moves in his sleep, and mumbles something. Sydney simply takes his hand, and holds it in her own.   
  
"So what did he say?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit thrown off by this, and I'm unsure as to whether I should reveal such things in 'the man's' presence. But what the Hell...I'm a sucker for some good old fashioned gossip.  
  
"Sydney, I think you already know." I say, and lean back. She turns to me, and a sad smile slowly spreads across her lips. She laughs softly, then leans down and plants a kiss on Mike's hands.   
  
Oh, what I'd give to be those hands.   
  
I have the sneaking suspicion that I've just witnessed big steps in the Mike/Sydney relationship, but I don't have time to think about it.   
  
"So do you have anyone special in _your_ life, JD?"   
  
"Me? Oh yeahhh...I've got the ladies lining up. I'm booked almost every night I have off. They just can't get enough of the JD-man--"   
  
Sydney laughed and leaned forward onto the bed, and turned her head to face me.   
  
"Oh, I see how it is." She said, still laughing softly. "Well I've got a couple people I could set you up with...I mean if you aren't totally against blind dates."   
  
"Sign. Me. Up."   
  
If they're friends with Sydney, I can only hope that some of her hottness has rubbed off on them. Oh please, God, yes.  
  
**END CHAPTER FIVE**


	6. 6

**Chapter Six**  
  
You know how it is when you become good friends with your patient who's a CIA agent that has contracted some mysterious almost fatal virus that thankfully has an antidote that the CIA agent he's in charge of, that just happens to be in love with him and he her, gets to save his life?  
  
Come to think of it, you probably don't. I don't know what the Hell I was thinking.  
  
Syd stayed by Michael's side all night -- he of course asleep, and she just staring at him, her eyes glazed over with tears.   
  
But I, like the trusty side-kick I am, was there for most of the night, entertaining Sydney with my quick wit and my uncanny imitation of an albino hedgehog.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"It really is frighteningly good, JD..."  
  
"I've been doing it my whole life, Syd, of course it's frighteningly good."   
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
I have to admit, I had a lot of fun last night, just chilling with Syd. It was like a slumber party or something.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"No! Then what _he_ say?" I ask, painting Sydney's toes with the pink nailpolish I'm holding in my hands.   
  
"He asked me to go to _dinner_ with him at a Trattoria di Nardi! Can you believe that?!" She takes her foot off my knee.   
  
"Ooh, my turn!" I exclaim giddily as stretch my leg and let my foot rest near her. Syd looks a bit disgusted at first, but she sucks it up and reaches her hand out for the nailpolish I'm holding.   
  
"Well, what did you say?"  
  
"What does it look like I said? He's sitting in the bed with an unsaid profession of love in his head, and I'm here painting your nails."   
  
"Awww," I say, sympathetic at first, then pick up the pillow beside me and stand up, starting to jump on the bed. "Pillow fight!"   
  
"Yay! You always know just how to make everything perfect, JD."   
  
"I know...Hey! SHIRTLESS pillow fight! Last one to take off their shirt has to take off their pants too!"   
  
"No fair!"  
  
Life is good.  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
"Who are you daydreaming about now? That prissy little CIA agent you've been sucking up to and drooling over for the past day?" I turn around and come face to face with an either really angry or really jealous Elliot. It could be both. Either way, I'm really scared, but kinda liking it.  
  
"Umm, no..."   
  
"Yes, you were."   
  
"No I wasn't," I say, laughing nervously, turning around and leaving the locker room with Elliot right on my tail.   
  
Oh if only she were really on my tail. And by tail I mean ass. And that is of course all sexual innuendo. In case you missed it.  
  
But then again, what's _not_ sexual innuendo when I speak?   
  
"Just admit it, JD. You have the hots for her and she has the hots for him so you're just gonna be left in the dust."   
  
I turn around quickly and shake my head.   
  
"What does it matter to you? First of all, I think she's hot, yes, but we're only friends. I'm friends with Mike too, and I'd never hit on the woman he loves more than anything else in this world. Second of all, even if I were in mad love with Sydney and ran away with her and fathered like a million of her babies, it wouldn't wouldn't matter because you gave this up--" I point to myself obnoxiously then turn back around and head toward where Mike's bed is.   
  
"Mike? Friends with them? JD, you've known them for what? Two days? Two days and you've already ditched us for them. I don't know if I will stand for such blatant abandonment of your best friends."   
  
Last time I checked, Turk was too busy "chillaxin" with the surgeons upstairs and Carla was just checking on her patients as usual. And Elliot? She's just been bitter that I've made cool new friends and she hasn't.  
  
"Whatever, Elliot, you're just jealous."   
  
"Hell yes, I'm jealous." She says immediately. Wow, I wasn't expecting such an open declaration. "I want to get in that man's pants, and and you're going to be my ticket in."   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"Tickets for the ride of a lifetime inside Michael Vaughn's pants...Only two dollars. Covers the whole day...I'll even open the belt buckle up, but leave you the pleasure of unbuttoning and zippi--  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
Damn, that was creepier than usual. So creppy I had to stop myself in midsentence. That's damn creepy.   
  
"Elliot, I'm not going to do anything of the sort. Now shoo, you scare him." I say, turning around to shoo her with my hands a few feet from his bed.   
  
She gasps and puts her hands on her hips.   
  
"I will _not_ forget this, JD. Next time you want a sex buddy, you're gonna have to find someone else."   
  
F-ck.  
  
She storms away, leaving me to turn back around and check out how it's going down in the angst-ridden, full of unresolved sexual tension sector of the hospital.  
  
I stand for a moment, with my arms crossed, just staring at them in wonder. I can't even begin to imagine how complicated their life must be.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
"You have to go, Sydney, their's no other choice."   
  
"No, I want to stay and make out with you."   
  
Mike throws the files he was holding out to her over his shoulders and pulls her close to him.   
  
"Sounds good to me." He says before mauling her with his lips.   
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
Sweeeeeeet.   
  
I'll have to remember to ask Mike how super-secret spy sex is. And I'll emphasize the s's so he'll acknowledge my mad alliterating skillz.   
  
Skillz with a Z.   
  
SkillZ.   
  
I shake my head and look back at the two of them. Sydney fell asleep in the chair next to Mike's bed. her hand resting on their clasped hands. Mike is sleeping too--  
  
Holy crap!   
  
All of a sudden, he leans his head upwards and opens his eyes with a huge grin on his face. I have to admit, that was a little creepy, but hella funny, regardless. He gives me the most conspicuous wink ever known to man, and I just shake my head. Right at that moment, Syd stirs, and he quickly pretends to be asleep once again.   
  
The man is insane. All these years doing those covert missions and all that crap has officially driven him insane. If I were him I would have just woken her up and had mad monkey sex right there in the middle of the hospital, for everyone to see.   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
[cue trashy porno-flick music]  
  
Syd and Mike are going at it like rabid bunnies, the clothes flying everywhere, and me, Turk, Elliot, and Carla are all sitting on the front desk watching as we pass the popcorn.   
  
"Damn," Turk says, twisting his neck to get a better angle.   
  
"Damn doesn't even begin to describe it," I say, shoving the popcorn in my mouth, and twisting my neck in the same direction as Turk.   
  
"You guys are such pervs," Carla says, jumping off the counter, as she starts to walk away. "Sure they may be doing it in the middle of the hospital but that doesn't give you a right to intrude on their private moment. Come on, Elliot, let's go."   
  
Elliot tilts her head, her mouth wide open.   
  
"Damnnnnn." She says simply before tossing some popcorn into her mouth.   
  
Carla throws her arms into the air and sighs before taking off down the hall.   
  
I whip out a notepad and start taking furious notes of what I'm watching.   
  
"Dude, make sure you copy that for me," Turk says, leaning over.   
  
"Me too."   
  
It's like. Real live porno.   
  
Porno. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
Sydney's head slowly lifts up off of Mike's hands and she looks around briefly. Her eyes settle on Mike's sleeping form, and she takes her hands out of his, and looks down at the ground. I clear my throat to get her attention, and she turns around, startled at first.   
  
"Oh, hey JD." She says as I make my way towards her.   
  
"I take it you stayed the night. I could have gotten you something a little bit more comfortable to sleep in than this broken down old chair."   
  
"No, don't worry about it," she says, standing up, "I've had to deal with worse." She looks at me, then back at Mike, and her eyes stay glued to him. "You know, I gotta get out of here...I have to be at work and I can't go dressed in the same clothes I was dressed in yesterday. Tell Vaughn I was here, alright?" She asks, finally tearing her eyes off him and looking at me.  
  
"Sounds great." I say. She smiles and mumbles a thank you before turning around so she could lean down and place a kiss on his forehead. She stays there for a moment, letting her hand rest on the side of his face, then takes it off, and rushes out.   
  
"I have to go."   
  
"Bye!" I call out as the automatic sliding doors close behind her.   
  
"Sha-WING!" I turn around and laugh as I see Mike sitting up in his bed doing a little victory dance in place.   
  
"You sly dog, you." I say as I walk up to him.   
  
"Did you see that? _Did_ you _see_ that? Hand holding, fore head kissing...Good God."   
  
"You sound like you're in the seventh grade, dude." I say, laughing.   
  
_**Flashback**  
  
"And then, she let me hold her hand!" Tommy said excitedly to me as we wander through the halls.   
  
"Tommy," I stop in my tracks and turn to him, "tell me what it's like to talk to a girl."   
  
"Man, you're wierd..."   
  
Dammit!  
  
**End Flashback**_   
  
"Do you blame me? I know for a fact that you'd be celebrating far more if what just happened to me happened to you."   
  
_**Daydream**  
  
Sydney leaves and I leap up from the bed and stand on it with my hand placed on my hips, my head tilted upward triumphantly.   
  
"Hit it boys," I signal to to the choir boys who come to sing to patients, and they start singing the theme to Shaft accapella while I do my half Axl Rose half J.Lo dances giddily.  
  
**End Daydream**_   
  
"Yeah, you're right."   
  
"Dammit, I feel good." Mike says, with the already huge grin on his face growing more by the second.   
  
"You look good." I say, with a smile. "And...I don't mean that...In any homo...Sexual way..." He looks at me strangely, and I just hang my head in shame. "I guess the antidote worked it's charm on that virus of yours, huh buddy?" I ask, changing the subject.   
  
"I feel like a new man JD. I've seen the light, and now I know what I have to do." He says, suddenly becoming serious.   
  
"I'm glad." I say, nodding my head.   
  
"All night...Damn, we slept together JD. Not sex slept together, but slept together! This is huge! She even drooled on my hand! I'm never washing this hand again," he said, sniffing his hand, then holding it away from himself.   
  
Yeah, that's gross.   
  
"Come to think of it, maybe I will..."   
  
"You do understand what you still have to do, right?" I ask.   
  
He calms himself, looks down, then back up at me and nods.   
  
"Yeah, I know." I smile, and he just shakes his head, the grin spreading across his face once more.   
  
"Dude, JD, thank you so much. You've just been--"   
  
"You don't need to thank me man," I say, shrugging. Good ole modest JD. That's what he's here for. To play cupid and ensure that the world will be graced with more hot people to come.   
  
And by that, I mean their kids. Cause you know they're gonna churn out children like no other. And they're all gonna be hot kids...  
  
And I don't mean that in a--  
  
Dammit, you know what I mean!  
  
"I have to go see her--" Mike says, trying to stand up, but still feeling too weak. I rush over to his side, and grab his arm, helping him get settled back into his bed.   
  
"You're not going anywhere. You have to get checked out, one last time...Make sure nothing bad's going on in there, then you can go run into her loving arms, profess your love to each other, and make out like little rabid animals."   
  
"Dude, that's just wierd."   
  
"Yeah, sorry."   
  
"Don't worry about it."   
  
We laugh, and I turn around to see what Kelso's making such a big fuss about by the front desk.   
  
"How am I supposed to run a hospital when we can't even admit patients and the staff is sitting around in their pajamas sipping pina coladas and strawberry daiquiris?!?"   
  
**END CHAPTER SIX**


	7. 7

**Chapter Seven**

"So, wait, are you telling me he's going to be leaving!" Elliot asks incredulously.

"Well, yeah," I say as I pick up my tray and make my way towards the trashcan. "He's better and he kinda has the whole 'saving the world with the CIA while banging his trusty agent all the while' thing to do also."

"Did somebody say 'bang'?" How does Todd magically appear whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned? It's a frighteningly good skill, and I can't help but wonder how he's perfected it over the years.

_Daydream_

"I'd so go play in her_ sandbox! High fives!"_

End Daydream

"JD, why are you such a pig?" Elliot quips as we all make our way out of the cafeteria.

"What? I speak the truth, that's all." There's no denying the fact that he's going to 'sow her seeds' all. Night. Long.

"Why does everything always come down to sex with you?" Why does Elliot ask such questions? First of all, I'm JD. I'm a 14 year old boy stuck in a 28 year old man's body. Second of all, it's sex. Clearly everything comes down to sex because it's sex. You'd think someone who has gone through four years of college, four years of med school, and 2 years plus of residency would know such facts. 

"Turk," I say, motioning to him to answer this question.

"It's sex." He says simply as we turn the corner.

"So what! The world doesn't revolve around sex." Carla exclaims with Elliot in unison. Oh how it really does.

"That's not what you were saying last night! HO!" Snap! I give Turk a high five then turn to my right where Todd has suddenly appeared.

"Mad props, Turk-man, mad props." Todd gives Turk those little hand gesture guns, the shooters, as I call them. Suddenly he sees a woman and he races toward her, like a dog chasing a car.

_Daydream_

How frightening, a dog with Todd's head! This image will haunt my dreams for years...

"How you doin', Ms. Poodle?"

silence 

"I'd so hump her if I wasn't neutered! High fives!" 

End Daydream

By the time I turn around, Carla and Turk are walking in the other direction, arguing about God knows what, and Elliot has gravitated towards Mike's bed, where he's sitting up and buttoning his shirt. I walk up behind her quietly, as to not interrupt the glorious day dream she must be playing out in her mind. I've so been there...Except they're not about Mike. And therefore in no way homoerotic...

"I'm never gonna see him again, JD." Elliot sighs, tilting her head to the side. 

"Oh sure you will." I say reassuringly, knowing all the while that if I have anything to do with it, Mike -- the Greek God of a man -- won't ever grace Elliot's dreams again, for I shall the the object of her affections.

Sure I've been lusting overy Syd for awhile, but that's all in good fun. Elliot's where it's at. Minus the whole psychopath, neat freak, daddy's girl, obsessive compulsive thing.

They really are endearing when you see them in the proper light. In any light at that matter...

And I don't mean her little quirks.

OH SNAP!

"Oh, hey JD," Mike says, nodding his head in my direction.

Elliot freezes up (wow, this is certainly a first), cowers, then scurries away. I walk toward Mike in a comfused stupor, my mind blown by Elliot's uncharacteristic behavior. I glance back to her as she walks away, and Mike peers in that direction also.

"Dude, what happened to her?" He asks, motioning to Elliot as she tries to jump up onto the front counter to talk to Carla, but falls flat on her face. "Ouch."

"I don't know, man...She's been acting strange recently--" I turn back towards him. "But who cares about Elliot, what about you! You're getting out today! It's the big day! Sydney doesn't know what she's in for." I nudge him and he looks down, shaking his head sheepishly as he puts his tie on.

"JD, it's not as easy as you make it sound..." He trails off, nervously.

"Ah, sure it is!"

_Daydream_

"I think you're hot and I want to have sex with you." Mike says, scratching his head. 

"Wow, that's really funny because I think you're_ really hot and _I_ wanted to have sex with _you_!" _

"What a coincidence!"

"I know! Seriously!"

silence

"You know I've wanted to do you ever since you first walked into my office, right?" Mike asks as he looks around nervously.

"Oh my God! I've wanted to do you_ ever since I first walked into your office also!" Syd exclaims excitedly._

"How perfect!" 

"I know! Seriously!"

cue "Let's Get It On" as Syd and Mike practically attack each other and start tearing each other's clothes off

End Daydream

"No, it's not, man." Mike says as he puts his suit jacket and takes a seat on his bed.

"How hard can it be? I mean you both love each other, clearly, and now all you gotta do is say it. Put it out there then fornicate like little chipmunks."

"Chipmunks?" He questions, looking up at me curiously. "JD, how do you manage to make everything be really really really creepy?"

"It's a gift, I know. But don't change the subject here--"

"You don't understand how much my world is going to change after I see her. It won't be hard to get it out and get it on, it's just going to be hard to face my life as it will stand afterwards. It's complicated."

I look at Mike who is obviously eager to start this new chapter of his life, but at the same time is accepting how carefully he must tread on this uncharted territory. I'm not gonna lie, there's no way I can or ever will understand what the two of them are going through, but I do have a faint idea of what the consequences are, and...

I don't know. I figure if this is their one chance at true love, screw the consequences, right?

"I understand, Mike," I say sympathetically as I cross my arms and walk to the end of the bed.

"No you don't," he says, chuckling as he stands up from the bed, once again. "And I'm glad. JD, it's so refreshing to talk to someone as cool about this as you are. And someone that I know I can trust."

"Oh, you're far too kind--" I may be shy and modest JD on the outside, but on the inside, I'm giddy like a little school girl!

He called me cool! Oh joy! Oh rapture! The epitome of coolness just called me cool! This is tremendous!

Suddenly the sliding doors open and I see Sydney walk through them and look up, smiling as she heads in our direction. I give her a slight wave then turn to Mike, who now is sporting a very serious "me so horny" look that covers up most of the horniness, and leaves primarily the angst.

I stand up and begin to walk away. "That's my cue," I say under my breath as I take my perch at the front desk with Carla, Turk, and Elliot.

"Oh, how fun. Now they're gonna have their little sentimental moment and live happily ever after." Elliot quips sarcastically as she rolls her eyes and waves her hand in front of her face.

"Come on, Elliot, you know you're happy for them," I say dreamily.

"Yo, Barbie, snap out of it," Turk says, snapping his fingers in my face.

"Oh, man, sorry--" I say, recovering quickly as I shake my head. "Pimps and hoes, pimps and hoes!"

Everyone turns their head towards me and give me a "What the Hell!" look together. Damn, triple whammy.

Hahahaha, I just said whammy. 

Or thought whammy. Whatever, either way, whammy is priceless. 

"Pimps and hoes...Guy talk...Reaffirming my masculinity, do you guys know _nothing_!" I ask then turn my attention back to the scene playing out before us.

I may be a dawg on the surface, but deep down inside, I'm just a little smitten kitten. 

And thank God I didn't just say that out loud.

Mike walks up to Sydney and just stands in front of her.

"Hi," he says after a prolonged silence filled with unresolved (but soon to be resolved) sexual tension and angst.

"Hi," she responds, having broken a smile, and her eyes welling up. A sad smile slowly spreads across Mike's face as she reaches up and pulls him into a big hug. He buries his head into her shoulder and rubs her back soothingly.

"Thank you," he says, barely above a whisper. But of course, I hear because I have incredible hearing. Seriously.

_Flashback_

"Your cell phone's ringing," I tell Turk.

"What? No it's not." 

"Yes, it is. Trust me. Check in your bag in your room." He gets up and comes back with his cell phone in his hand.

"One missed call...How did you hear that!"

"I have really really good hearing."

"Oh."

End Flashback

I never said all my flashbacks have to be witty or funny or self deprecating, did I?

They pull apart, and just stare at each other for a moment, before Mike breaks their gaze and looks at the ground nervously.

"I...uh...Heard about Sark."

"Who's Sark?" Elliot asks immediately, turning to me.

"How am I supposed to know!" I ask incredulously.

"You're like...In on their little...Thing. You should know!"

"Well I don't!" 

"Shut up, you two!" Carla whispers to us as she leans forward to hear better.

"Sloane actually brought Sark to the Alliance and presented him as their new ally." Sydney says quietly, looking down then back up at Mike.

"How did that go over?" He asks, clearly denying his natural urges to grab her and ravish her like there's no tomorrow.

Like. There's. No. Tomorrow.

"Apparently, Sark was a big hit. And thanks to me, Sloane's standing has never been higher." Mike shakes his head in recognition, then bows it once more.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"Don't be. If that's what I had to do to get you back, I was willing to."

Ooh, you can cut through the attraction with a knife here. The smoldering "I so want to do you right this second!" exuding off the both of them is almost unbearable.

Mike pulls his eyes away from Sydney's breaking the moment, then looks back up at her.

"I understand you met Alice--"

A sad look crosses Sydney's face, but she covers it up, and is barely able to contain her excitement.

"You don't need to explain. JD told me everything." He nods in my direction, and Mike turns and gives me his signature head nod. I can't help but laugh as I give it back to him. "And it looks like we have an audience..." We all wave giddily to the soon to be happy couple, and they give a laugh before turning back to face each other.

"So..." Sydney trails off as Mike looks back at her and lifts his hand up to her face, drawing a strand of hair behind her ear.

She takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes as Mike lets his thumb graze over her cheek, his other hand rises to the other side of her face, and he takes a step closer to her. She opens her eyes slowly, then places her hands over his and slowly pulls them off her face, entwining his fingers in her own.

"I thought I was going to lose--" She says quietly, looking down at their hands. Mike's chest rises as he takes a deep breath and cuts her off.

"But you didn't. I'm still here, and only because of you. Because of you and for you. Always for you."

Dammit, why can't I come up with lines like that on the whim!

_Flashback_

Uhh, I think you're really pretty, and uh...I'm sorry for all the sweat and...Uhh...You're really really pretty, but you already know--I really am sorry for all this sweat. I sweat uncontrollably when I'm around women as pretty as y--

End Flashback

I swear I see a tear fall from Syd's eye, and I'm right, for Mike reaches up -- his hand still entwined in hers -- and wipes it from her face, before leaning in and kissing her.

It starts slowly and softly, but it quickly heats up as they let go of each other's hands and Mike's hands wander to her hips, and his wrap around his neck.

"I would give anything to be in her position." Elliot says dreamily before sadly sliding off the counter and walking towards the locker room.

"Me too," Carla replies, following her in a lovestruck daze.

"Yeah, me--" Turk starts, then shakes his head and quickly looks at Carla, then me, then back at Carla. "Baby, are you saying I'm not good enough for you? That I don't satisfy your--" His voice trails away quickly as he chases Carla down the hall, and I'm left to just gaze upon the wonderful result of my matchmaking.

JD, the matchmaker.

_Daydream_

JD dressed as a fairly-like creature -- tights, glitter, wings, and all -- prancing about happily

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch...

End Daydream

Mission accomplished, my friends, mission accomplished.

And I get to just sit back and watch some good old fashioned spy!porn right in the middle of the hospital. Sweet.

**END CHAPTER SEVEN**


End file.
